Paradise not.


So here it is the weekend again and I’m up doing the usual; drinking coffee and doing laundry, well not as much laundry as someone did almost all of it yesterday and all I had to do was just wash my bedding.

Had a  somewhat busy week at work and the idiot I am training is stupider than I thought. I even complained to my manager about him. Lease he is slowly beginning to gt it without asking for help every 30 seconds and I can actually do my work too.

Almost had a melt down Wednesday night. I can home from work, made my lunch and after i did the dishes I just felt like I wanted to cry, I actually  just laid in bed for 10 minutes before the feeling past. No idea what caused it or brought it on, I do have some ideas, but nothing confirmed.

Hope to do something fun/interesting/new today without having to deal with someones pacing around and she’d better not tell me she’s bord later on as I am bord waiting for her to wake up (to do nothing of course).

Watched the new Marvel show Cloak and Dagger; wasn’t as bad as I thought (having no idea what the comic was about) guess they made the characters teens to attract that in their audience. I watched episode 3 of Westword after that and I am definitely hooked. I guess I had better start thinking about downloading season 2 soon.

OK so enough of my ramblings, time to find something to do.

ciao xo



Weekend things…

IMG_2823 (Edited)Sorry for the language but it’s true and possible makes me not a people person. Oh great someones up maybe which may interrupt my blogging. No idea what I wa going to say for most of it, but was going to be winging it like usual.

Finally got a new picture of my friend. I stole it from Facebook and maybe I will tell her about it, It’s weird though she tells me ste loves and mises me, then doesn’t talk to me for weeks :(. I hope she knows I am always here for her. Then again maybe she’s waiting for me?

OMG my coworkers are lazy frigging idiots. I gave the new guy 3 files to write and in three hours he read the news on the internet. He’s going to be surprised when I am gone on holidays, cause if I get back and my work is piled up, I am going to really loose it.

No idea whats up today. I think we’re going to drop off a urine sample…lol seriously. Other that the- no clue. I should get dressed now and see if I can hit a yard sale even though no idea what I want to buy or if I am looking for anything.

Oh I tried to help my daughter move and wen I went over last night I had the feeling she couldn’t get me to leave soon enough.  I guess my little girls not little anymore.

OK shower. coffee. yard sales. Not neccessarily in tha order.

Oh guess whose not doing laundry. Since someones lazy enough not to get dressed means they should have time to do something around the house. I am getting tired of doing  everything of things that need to get gone. UGH.

ciao xo

I’m not mad, just very disappointed

untitledSo a few months ago I downloaded a series Westworld from HBO for me and my fiancé to watch, and attempted to watch the first episode streamed from my computer to the TV. Well I guess the file was too big and we spend most of the time watching the movie buffering instead of the actual movie.

Last week I finished catching up on my Netflix movies and decided to watch this series again; but this time directly from my computer (worked perfectly). My fiancé looked over my shoulder at it a couple time and suggested I try streaming to the TV (again didn’t work). She did this again a couple days later when I watched the second episode. Last weekend I decided to buy the season one DVD set for us to watch. Last night I said she could watch the first 2 episodes today so she would be caught up with me; then she turns around and says she has no interest in Westworld. WOW WTF I wish I had know that before I bought the season, I could have used that money for things for me and not for us. Call me a selfish asshole if you’d like but I am getting sick of trying to do things for us, and having them not turn out. I guess it’s time to be nicer to myself.


Did and done

Well did almost everything I wanted yesterday, but still not happy. Bought Westworld season one, 2 pair of shoes (one pair I needed, and the other pair were on sale). Bought some new underwear’s and some new pj shorts. So I guess buying things doesn’t always make me happy (maybe content).

Just finished watching season 2 of Jessica Jones so that’s another thing off my list. Have to go help my x-mil today with her phone, pick up my daughter at 1:30 and squeeze groceries in there too. I will try and get a hair cut so I can look good at least for myself so hope that will at least bring me self confidence and happiness. Other than that, no clue what I’m going to do with the rest of my time. Guess I’ll figure it out as I go.

Ciao xo

Another Day I Didn’t Wake Up Rich

No idea as to why I am up so early on a day where I can or should have slept in more. Maybe getting up to use the bathroom every 2 hours didn’t help. Now that I am up I watched 2 episodes of Jessica Jones on Netflix and had 2 cups of coffee I am trying to figure out what to do next. Most likely it’s going to be shower and get dressed. But then it’sback to what the heck am I going to do today. I know I would like to get my hair cut (soon) and I do need a new pair of dress shoes for work as mine are breaking/busting at the seams on one shoe. I am also thinking about buying season one of Westworld on blueray; even though I do have a copy on my computer but I can ONLY watch them on my computer and not able to stream them to my TV.

I just don’t want to sit here all day listening to crazy say she can’t do anything.

Dissappointed I didn’t win the lottery again seeing how my dreams lead me to believe I would win something; maybe even enough to pay off my car or buy a house.

Well guess I’m not going to the garage sales as it will involve too much walking and people and theres thr chance of a thunderstorm too and the last thing I want is to be caught in it blocks away from my car.

OK off to shower for starts.



Nothing Really to Say.


Nothing much to say here. Long weekend and am working on my to do list. So far managed to do a few things last night without any help, but then didn’t really need any (but they at least could have offered). So here I sit Saturday morning, waiting on the second load of laundry to finish. Still have some things to bring upstairs to put outside and I will need help bringing the patio table up.

Hopefully will be able to do something interesting before having to go to my Aunt and Uncles anniversary party. Not that won’t be fun, but some of my least favorite people will be there.  Then again no idea what I would want to do, or what I want to buy.

Guess I’ll start bringing things upstairs that I can d on my own.

Oh I managed to rehab my knee back to where it was 3 weeks ago. Still not 100% but getting closer every day.

OK back to caffeine and chores and hope for something good to happen to me thins weekend.

ciao xo



Will it get better?

Some days I think my fiancé is getting worse. She get this restless leg syndrome and sits or stands there shaking in place (almost if she has to go to the bathroom really bad). Of course there’s nothing I can do about it. She still doesn’t hear me at times. For example we went to visit her aunt and on the way home I asked her to say the next road that lead to the highway. She didn’t hear me (again) so ended up driving through town- the long way.

Another thing she’ll probably not notice is that I have stopped doing certain things. I figure why bother.

So at comiccon my legs were killing me. I swear I limped through half the day and while I still enjoyed myself; I should have enjoyed it more. It’s the right knee and thigh muscles above it. Even today they are sore. I am scared about going to the doctor about it in case I need an operation (or my MS is finally catching up on me – and my life would really suck then). If it wasn’t for my lazy assed coworkers I would take a day off to recover- but when I come back I would have more work to catch up on.