Yeah, I am starting to think maybe it is me. Maybe I just don’t like to be poked and teased. Maybe I don’t like my bald spot to be rubbed and kissed. Maybe I don’t like repeating my self hoping that I will be heard. Maybe I don’t like making supper all the time. Maybe I don’t like me legs being in pain. Maybe I am suffering from anxiety and depression. Maybe I don’t like asking for help cause I am too stubborn. Maybe I am an asshole (and yeah sometimes I like it).
Maybe it’s me, but sometimes maybe it’s you…
So been reading one of my friends comments recently about being in love and being in relationship’s and how she better alone. She may think it great but I guess she’s forgotten that she used to date me and I am pretty sure she remember how badly then she broke my heart. Of course I am over it now- but still her just mentioning it still stings just a little.
What a terrible day yesterday. The weather was miserable and my mood matched it. I decided to meet my fiancé after work and from there we would go on to the tattoo place for both of us to get tattoos. She also brought her friend from work. Now she had already decided on which tattoo she wanted so that was good (needed some changes but still fine). I on the other hand was still trying t think of one and since I had doubt in the one I was planning to get, I was working on another. Every time I mentioned something, my comments were ignored or passed over, Yeah I understood that she could have been too excited for her own tattoo too. In the end I passed the opportunity to get one. I wasn’t 100% sure so made perfect sense. Oh yeah the last thing I want is someone telling me what tattoo I should get and where I should put it.
I can tell you that I will get one and it will be when I am ready.
Actually I think I should have just gone home last night instead. I was tired and hungry so that’s not good. Oh and by the way I don’ t like having supper after 9 at night; I would rather just go to bed starved.
Think that’s all that’s bothering me at the moment…or at least for now.
Well yesterday, for the first time in almost 10 years I am debt free. No more monthly payments to the credit card company paying an exorbanent amount in interest charges. This will now give me more money to spend on other things I would like lol. Oh and add this to my quitting smoking and yeah, I am saving a lot of money now. My next plan is to pay off my home/car insurance in advance and compared to a mere few months ago I will have an additional $200 in my pockets J
So yeah after years of being asked I finally broke down and bought am xbox one for my daughter. Yeah ok I did buy a little of it for myself too, cause after all these yeas of not gaming I think I deserve one. Gunny thing is though when I got my last console, it too like 5 minutes to hook up, inserted a disk and started to play the game. Last night it was like 5 minutes to hook up, install and update this game after you enter a 16 digit code and of course there was the update you had to install so that took like an hour. I started around 7 and by 930/10 we were finally playing. Luckily it also connects to Neflix, so I can keep it upstairs (plus it wouldn’t connect to the old tube TV).
Well going to go and try and figure it out some more. Hope I don’t get gaming thumb lol
I don’t know where it went, or when but all I do know its not there any more. You know that saying about looking at your cell phone and smile, well right now I look at my cell phone and roll my eyes. I don’t know what’s missing. I do know that everything she does can get on my nerves and she seeks to know every button to push. I know that this is something she’s not doing on purpose. There used to be a time when I was happy to see her; now not so much.
oh well I’ve dug my own grave here.
Soon Facebook yesterday I posted this:
“I cheer for any team that plays against Toronto. Not that they are a bad team, but the arrogance and holier than though attitude of their fans make me sick.”
One of my long time friends bashed my team and out teams aren’t even playing each other yet. Then I got into an argument with 2 others. It was funny as one was saying how big a leaf fan hey were, but a while back when they dated me, they cheered on the Sens with me.
Anyways that’s that and just hope they don’t continue the discussion as I’m tired of it..
So yeah I am making supper this Sunday and just hope it turns out well and no one tries to help me without me asking them too. Too many cooks in the kitchen thing…spoils the broth or something like that.
Finally have someone coming to look at the fire insert tomorrow and really hope they take it, so that’s one more thing out of the basement.
As usual thought I had more, but its only the beginning of the long weekend.