Monday Ugh

So yeah, f*ck my daughter is sick again. She wasn’t here the past 2 nights, so probably got it at her mothers. I really hope she’s not faking it. I can hear her coughing from down stairs and it does sound like a raspy sort of cough. I will see how she sounds when she gets up as well as how she acts and talks. Sorry kiddo, no new laptop today, you’ll have to wait another day while you get plenty of rest and feel better.

I’m home today cause I have my appointment at the hospital and I expect everything to be the same as last time that (hopefully) there is no degenerations and I continue to be an anomaly. I guess I have to make a couple calls today too. One to change an appointment and the other to make one.

ciao I’m off to chill till later on when I have to get changed or my 3 o’clock appointment…it’s 6:15 now ugh



Yay, It’s the weekend.

So yeah I have risen, but I am not to the point where I am shining yet…still waiting for coffee to do its job.
So yeah its my youngest daughters 15th birthday. I still don’t know what I am getting her. I want to buy her a new computer but its the money thing and the fact that no one else is going to help me with it. But I do have the money and it’s not for anything yet. If I won the lottery last night (which I didn’t) it would have been a no brainer. I still have until 5:30 to decide. Oh yeah I am paying for dinner tomorrow and her eventual “kids” party. Time will tell, and I do know the one I will get her.
Tonight is my alone night. My daughter is with her mom and my fiancé is going to party with her aunts and cousins leaving me all alone. I really, really don’t hope I am home doing laundry watching TV by myself. I would much sooner be out on an adventure (PG of course). I know my friends band is playing at Greenfields so that’s one option and as soon as I am done blogging here I am going to take to facebook and see if there are any other options available to me and go from there. Deep down I know I would love to have a long conversation with a nerdy girl with an English accent. Not holding my breath cause I  know its not going to happen-especially if my anxiety keeps me home tonight.
Well time to go do something productive and give myself more caffine lol

ciao have a good weekend xo

Maybe it’s me?

I was pondering this morning yes at the ungodly hours of before 7am. Maye my expectations are too high and that’s why I am so unhappy at times. I thought I would be at somewhere else in life surrounded by people who make me happy. Sure having sciatica pain at times doesn’t help. But I really thought life would be different for me. More friends that actually talk to me. A daughter who listens to me. A fiancé who hears what I am saying and puts down her fucking game when I try to talk to her.
Sometimes there are things beyond my control, but should I really lower my expectation and a chance of happiness just to everyone else is happy?
I guess I should find out what makes me happy and just do it,

ciao xo

Survived Another Week!


Well survived week 2 of back to school. Only bad part was my daughter was sick most of the week, and I had to deal with her Grandmother telling me how I should be taking care of her and what I should be doing. Thank goodness for answers such as I know, and yes I am well aware of that. I seriously thought that I wouldn’t have to be dealing with her as much but nope I guess I am stuck with the meddling twat!
Still no support yet. I know I waived July and August, but now I would like to receive it. I think I will be sending it soon to my lawyer and hope that gets a reaction or preferably an action in the form of payments. I also applied for the Child Benefits for my daughter too.
Considering buying a new car. Saw a Malibu that I liked and made the mistake of telling my parents about it. I got the reply I expected: You don’t need a new one, yours is fine, what’s wrong with it. I know I shouldn’t have even opened my mouth. BUT it is still my choice my life and my money. I am aware that I will have car payments again and my insurance will go up but I think that if nothing changes financially for me; its in the cards and am pretty sure I will be able to over pay the monthly payments.2014-Chevrolet-Malibu-1LT-67994-1Just checked and yeah its still there. Maybe I will look around a little bit first and think more about it. Plus I could save maybe another thousand more in that time or win something on the lottery hahahaha.
So most of what I thought was going on today has been changed. No doctors appointment for my daughter, no party for her to go to (it was cancelled). Still getting the dogs nails trimmed this afternoon and maybe still go to Hot Topic sometime this weekend as we (as in I) have a whole bunch of Hot Topic cash lol. Guess we’ll find out later.

I think that’s all I had to say this week, no including too much complaining for once lol

Ciao xo


Please don’t let it be another one of those weekends


So came home from work yesterday and my daughter has gone to her mother for the weekend (pre-planned). So I did one load of laundry, separated all of her clothes to be washed then came upstairs. My fiancé comes home grabs the rest of the laundry and goes down and separates it her way and does the rest (both good and bad) she doesn’t hang any of my daughters clothes up and yes the hangers were there, doesn’t fold anything so there is just a pile on my daughters bed. Wow just fucking wow, so no impressed. I will say something though since I did put her delicates in the fabric bag to note to “HANG THESE UP!!” and I did bring all her hangers downstairs too.

So later today we re suppose to bring some items to the seamstress place at the mall. I hope I can explain them how to fix my daughters skirt without them ruining it. My batman tank top as long as I can wear it (next year).

Oh I also have like almost 2 grand in my account…maybe I will see something nice for myself for once…hahaha right. Better pay one or two bills first (which I have just done). So I know I am not allowed to buy some clothes (self imposed) but I can buy one pair of black jeans, a black short sleeved buttoned up shirt and maybe another (funky) belt. Of course there is no limits on long sleeved shirts.

I know I should stop bitching but when there’s no one else to talk to, you can’t really just hold it all in to boil up then explode.

Oh I guess I should say I did survive the first week of back to school being a parent.  Would have been nice if someone else was there to help but, but I expected nothing and that’s just what happened…

ok going to go before my bitching heads for a more sadder areas.

ciao xo


Well I really hope that my relationship with my daughters is going to be the way it has been this summer. Currently my oldest owes me $130. Sure the majority is for her rent when she moved out and there another misc. $30 for whatever. The only reason I an keeping track is because she said she would pay me back (hopefully). I just wish we would talk more cause I miss is at times.

Now my youngest always wants to be with her friend and while I have no problem with her friend, IT;’S ALL THE TIME. I do want to see her on her own so I can tell her what’s expected now that she is living here with us.

I am 98% ready …well my daughter is 98% ready to do back to school. Need to get her binders from her grandmothers house, pick up stuff for her (and my) lunches, and I think that’s it. Or guess who will be heading back to the store Tuesday night; hopefully not in a panic.