Happy Birthday to me…


Well it’s here. One of my least favorite days on the calendar. I don’t know why I dislike it so much maybe cause I always have so much expectations of it’s going to be a fun day; but rarely lives up to my expectations. To be honest I really don’t have any expectations anymore. I given up having them. But deep in the back of my mind I still expect something great to happen. I know, I know I should just go with the flow and try and enjoy the day as much as possible, but of course that’s easier said than done.

I know we’re going out for lunch today at a place I picked and a time I chose. My youngest of course wants to make other plans so she can see her friend for a few hours, and not really do what I wanna do (of course). Maybe I am selfish?Maybe I am an asshole? I don’t decided that. it’s what others will perceive of me today or tomorrow, and I am starting to think I don’t really care. It’s not like I have many friends I talk to every day – more like few friends that I almost never talk to or see. If I enjoyed my own company it would be great, but I don’t even enjoy that.

I guess it’s time for more coffee and watch Facebook as the birthday wishes trickle in from people I hardly know and rarely talk to.

Happy birthday to me…


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