What to do?

So today fo the first time in like forever I been invited to do something (well maybe being used a little) but hopefully something to get me out of the house for a little while and possibly meet new people (had to write that caefully as I am not meeting anyone new in that regards lol). Maybe being around different people will give me confidence or not maybe I’ll still be the quietish person I am.

Finally finished season 2 of Westworld. Was weird but good. Will be intersting to see if they go for a sequel as they did kill off almost all the major characters.

So have to run out to my parents to hopefully fix a scratch on my car door that someone left for me :(. Hopefully that won’t take too long and I think I know the stuff that we’re going to be using.

Legs are a bit sore still. i really need less of a work load at work and hopefully dummy comes back soon so he can do the frigging grunt work and I can sit back the other 2 frigging idiots doing nothing.

OK just to skip crap I hope I an just have half the day to myself to do what I’d like.

Crossing my fingers and hoping.

Ciao xo


Am I Being Selfish?

Am I Being Selfish? Or is that I expect too much of other people? Maybe I just am not as forceful as I should be and should say NO more often to things that I don’t want to do. Hell I am a grown man and should be able to do what I want when I want. Right? I am getting tired of giving int plans that I don’t want to do and thats cuase when I do them, I am bored out of my frigging mind.

Sorry just needed to rant cause as you know, I really don’t have anyone to talk to except you unknown stranger lol

ciao xo

I’m Not Happy

Nope I’m not. I’m tired of being ignored, not being heard and being treated like crap.

Suppose to go swimming today again. I really don’t want to go. I don’t think Gwyn does either. So going to make for a long fucking day.

My legs better enough now (again) not to use my cane. Only one person at work noticed. And when I told HER I wasn’t bringing it Friday; she didn’t hear me and texted me asking if I forgot something. Duh-open your ears.

Sorry all I seemed to have woken in a bad mood.

Hope my day gets better.

Ciao xo

2nd Half Starts Now

Didn’t have a good day yesterday. Ended up driving 2 hours in the wrong direction and it wasn’t my fault. Oh and no apologies either.

My AC. kept turning off last night so had to keep going to the basement to reset the breaker. I gave up and turned my fan on instead.

Guess almost time to go melt soon. 22 degrees out now at 6am and a nigh of 33.

But yeah I hope the second half of this year gets better for me. I hope to walk normally soon and get my smile back.

Ciao xo

Worst Year of my Life


So yes this is so far the worst year of my life. I am sitting here not happy about it at all.

Started the year with a fractured patella in my right knee (although that happened in Dec 2017), and didn’t return to work until late February. Then get the shaft by getting to do the most time-consuming tasks and train one of the unintelligent people I have ever met in the government so far.

Now I have gone and strained my left knee/ankle. But I am determined to go back to work monday healed or not cause I cannot stand staying at home with my fiance. As I may have mentioned previously she is suffering from depression and when she talks to me she either whispers so I can’t hear her or mumbles. I am trying but I am so frustrated with everything. Doesn’t help that I don’t have any real friends and with no one to talk to I keep it all bottled up inside; thus making myself go crazy.

I also lost one of my best friends over a misunderstanding comment I had made that wasn’t about her at all (but another ex). But decided after all that ay have been one of the lesser bad things.

Seriously! do you know how hard it is to make friends at ny age 😦

I guess I had better hobble upstairs and get dressed and do the things I want to do before my daughter comes over. Hopefully she will be cooperative and do things that I want to do. There may even be something in it for her.

I am smarter than to ask whats next cause I am sure life would take that as a challenge, and I am done with challenges for a while. I just want to walk around with a smile on my face.

ciao xo

Ugh Another Day, Another Injury


So guess who screwed up their other knee (and ankle) Monday night. Least it’s not broken  this time. Taking the rest of the week off hoping it feels better and I can walk better by next week so I can go to work again.

Grr Amazon, thats two orders in a row now that are no-shows. I know I received full refunds on them, but I wanted the items too. Now I am nervous placing a third order …once I find something I want. Even checked the mail twice today.

So my ankle feels a tad sore/stiff and don’t ask me how but effecting the knee a little. I know rest it and hope/pray for  quick healing.

Ok so back to go sit on my ass again #bored

ciao xo

Happy Fathers Day

OK so this is my sad fathers day post.

I am not close to my father at all.

I have no treasured memories of some experience that the two of us shared together. Even now trying to think of something coming up blank.

My mother did tell me that he was/is socially retarded.

He laughs at his own jokes, but when I tell him something funny I only get a hmf and a smirk. Anyone else tells him something and they get a full on belly laugh.

I guess all I can do is have a better relationship with my girls (or hope to).

So yeah Happy Fathers Day.